Secrets To Having A Great Relationship

After reading the recent postings from my friends on how wonderful my relationship is with my wife (thank you for the acknowledgements because the feedbacks let us know that we are on the right track), I suddenly remembered that one of my friend asked me about a month ago, if Sylvia and I have special methods that make us more loving each day. I shared some of the things here with her and some of the things I just added in this blog for the purpose of sharing.

I guess I am blessed that Sylvia and I had attended Money & You program in 2005. The program has given us much awareness, distinction and most importantly the tools to "orbit in love". We had discussions about expectations, visions and some other uncomfortable topics including money and we use the jargon and terms we learnt from the program to help us to arrive with some resolutions. I had made the decision to propose to Sylvia only after Money & You and I am so sure that we can "grow up" (grow old seems to be not a very powerful affirmation, hehe) together.

For this, I thank Money & You and all the people who bring this program to Singapore and Malaysia, Executive Directions and Globe Success Learning. To know more, you can visit www.exec-directions.com/mnu.php (from this site, you can sign up for a free seminar to get a a litle taste of what the program is like, orgnised by Executive Directions in Singapore and KL) or www.excellerated.com (the original website of Money & You, where you can read more about the program)

On top of that, we are also blessed to have met a great mentor who constantly guide us with profound questions to think about. Some of the questions he asked are so simple but given thought it gives much to think about, like for example he asked us this before we tied the weding knot: "What does marriage mean to you?". For this, I must acknowledge John for your love and support. You can find out more on his work (very interesting way to make a living and add value) at http://www.johnstamoulos.com/en/index.html

I guess self improvement and development plays a big part. I believe not only in love and romantic relationship, but also self improvement and mastery in all areas of life.

Sylvia and I had developed a communication system. Whenever we feel mad about the other partner or want some changes from either one, we write a note on that, and why we feel that way. This works especially well for uncomfortable topics or when emotionally charged situations because when writing, the other person can't rebut, justify or lay blame and it gives time to read fully and think through the situation before replying the note. Don't take my word for it, test it out with your spouse or friends.

We use this method so that whatever issues can be discussed and not kept under the carpet till the matter get worse. Sometimes, for some emotional issues, we also do sincere sharing through knee-to-knee sharing (another Money & You technique, very powerful!) and listen actively to each other.

For happy "issues" or matters, we fet two bottles to collect folded stars with written messages of appreciation for each other whenever we felt that we are grateful for the things that we have done for each other. Whoever is the first to get the bottle filled up will get a gift from the other party...fun and it's rewarding to see the stars adding up.

Last but not least, this is a ritual that we have, which is not even agreed upon verbally nor written. It just happened automatically after we stayed together. We give each other a KISS, every morning and before sleep. Any kisses other than that are bonuses.

There you have it, our secrets to our great relationship...Hmmm, maybe can write into a book. Maybe can be a best-seller like "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" (a great book by Dr. John Gray that I strongly recommend). Have a great weekend loving!